My first child, Saira, was born at 25 weeks, weighing only one-and-a-half pounds. I didn’t see or hold her as she was immediately rushed to the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for life-saving measures.
On Saira’s third day of life, a doctor told my husband and me to prepare for the “unthinkable”—that we might never bring her home. His words were devastating, but instead of feeding our fears, we gathered ourselves, thanked the doctor for his opinion, and walked into the NICU, determined to love our daughter fiercely and fight for her as long as we could. That marked the beginning of our 11-month NICU journey, which became one of the most intense experiences of my life.
Here are five lessons I learned, which continue to guide me in both my life and work:
1. Defy Expectations (Even Your Own) & Stay Goal-Oriented
My primary goal was to be a mother—to love and support my baby and to get her healthy and strong. Planning for anything else felt counterproductive. Why plan for failure when I could focus my energy on a better possibility? My husband and I were with Saira and loved her every day, through three surgeries and countless uncertainties, and eventually, we were able to bring her home. I’ve carried this resolve into the corporate world. Challenges will arise, but as long as my team and I stay focused on our shared goals, we can get creative and utilize our resources to find answers. Instead of having fears stop you, let them motivate you to find a new solution.
2. Build Community, Not Competition
On our first night in the maternity ward, a nurse told us that the NICU would soon feel like a little family. I smiled politely, but internally scoffed at the idea. I didn’t want the NICU to be my family; I wanted to bring my daughter home and be a family with my husband—a family without wires, tubes, and machines keeping us alive. My cynicism lasted about two weeks until a fellow NICU mom asked if she could hug me. As a self-proclaimed hugger, I obliged, and so began my journey of connecting with other NICU moms, nurses, and doctors—all of us on different paths but sharing the same goal of sending healthy children home.
The NICU community is unique. It recognizes the same beeps, dings, and rings of medical equipment that will stay with you for years to come. It understands that a cold is never just a cold around a premature child and that guzzling down one ounce of formula is a step closer to being released.
Because of the support I received from other NICU parents, one of my top priorities when I returned to work was to build a strong community, aligning on goals and creating a support system that brings out the best in everyone. There will always be times when things do not go as planned or days when we are not at our best. Having connections with other people, grounded in mutual trust, respect, understanding, and clear goals, helps me navigate the tough days, turning them into valuable learning experiences to grow from. Plus, camaraderie makes the big wins that much more enjoyable.
3. Speak the Language
In the NICU, it was important for me to learn and speak to the medical professionals using the same terminology as they did. This new vocabulary allowed me to interact with the doctors and nurses in an intelligent way, rather than just being a scared-out-of-her-mind mother of a micropreemie.
After navigating this learning curve at the NICU, I was well-prepared to master the acronyms, terms, and processes when I started working at Samsung. I realized that the more you understand and use the relevant terminology in conversation, the quicker you learn and the more confident you become in grasping the bigger picture.
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4. Prioritize Research
Until I spent time in the NICU, I never realized how many people it takes to care for one itty-bitty bird-sized baby. At least a dozen individuals were tending to Saira, and I got to know every single one of them. Through them, I learned crucial information about my child’s development. I learned when to give doctors space during a crisis with our daughter – and there were quite a number – and when to advocate for further research and second opinions to challenge diagnoses and decisions. I also delved into papers and essays on prematurity, the science behind scent and touch, and common developmental delays and diseases. That research helped me become an active member of my daughter’s care team instead of being passive and reactionary. It also helped us identify a missed diagnosis that could have rendered our daughter blind in one eye.
In the corporate world, knowing whom to approach for what and asking the right questions is a great advantage. In other words, being prepared is key. These field-research conversations not only earn you appreciation from your colleagues, but also provide a strong foundation to work off of. Understanding how someone’s role aligns with yours is highly beneficial operationally, providing deep insights that only the right person can offer. Plus – we work with some very cool people, so there’s an added benefit there!
5. Learn & Iterate
My NICU experience not only inadvertently helped me create a solid re-entry strategy but also directly prepared me for another unexpected turn. Before I was pregnant with Saira, my husband and I had hired a gestational carrier in Texas, who became pregnant with our twins while Saira was in the NICU. Incredibly, the gestational carrier also suffered a similar fate for very different reasons. She gave birth to our twins also at 25 weeks. I flew to San Antonio to watch over the babies in the NICU. But back home in New Jersey, my community of moms, nurses, and doctors continued to support me through this second NICU journey.
Building a solid foundation in the workplace through knowledge, research, and community is essential, because no matter how meticulously we plan a product launch, event, or announcement, there will be curveballs and surprises. This foundation helps us navigate and adapt, enabling us to succeed and grow despite what gets thrown our way.
Nearly seven years after starting our NICU journey, my three miracles are bright, sassy fighters that have come a long way. They, as most children, continue to teach me lessons that apply beyond parenting. They challenge me daily, keeping me smarter and better than the day before—an education I proudly bring into the workplace.
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Nidhi Mehta with her children at home
September is National NICU Awareness Month
Please consider supporting your local NICUs. Your donations provide essential items like baskets filled with safe laundry and dishwashing detergent, scent cloths, donor milk, NICU scholarships, parent dinners, preemie clothing, tablets for communication, and so much more. Donating blood is also critical, as many preemies, especially micro-preemies, require multiple blood transfusions, and birth mothers often cannot donate. The NICU journey doesn’t end when families leave the hospital. If you’d like to learn about other ways to support NICU parents, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.
